We aren’t all going to be awarded with the sort of love life that Hollywood makes seem so common. In fact, most of us are going to go through many different relationships until we finally find and settle down with ‘the one’. That is the heart of adult dating, really, pushing your way through the crowd until you are happy. Unfortunately there is no such thing as ‘happily ever after’ in relationships, as any divorce attorney could admit, and you will have to continually work toward keeping your love life engaging and inflamed. We decided to look at some simple ways that you can take a dimming relationship and re-ignite the spark that you used to have. When the flame gets low don’t give up, instead follow these tips and you’ll be more in love than ever once again!
Create a culture of affectionate touching.
We all have our own specific forms of ‘love language’ but one universal form is the act of giving out a loving touch. Believe it or not over time many couples will cool their physical affection toward one another in a way that typically sends them reeling toward relationship counseling. Can the fix to their couples counseling really lay in simply being physically affectionate once more? We believe that you can reignite the spark in your love life by being willing to give out more hugs, more kisses, and more gentle touches. Showing your significant other that you love them via physical touch is a great way to get both of you feeling closer and more involved with one another. These small touches over the space of a week will add up and soon you’ll see that spark in her eyes and the butterflies in your stomach return.
Leave a lovely note without any reason.
Many people get it into their heads that the only times you need to be ‘romantic’ are on those special Hallmark Holidays. This isn’t the truth and any relationship coach worth their diploma will quickly advise you to start being more romantic without needing a reason. We like the idea of combining the intimacy of a letter with the factor of surprise that a lovely note can bring. Imagine your significant other finding a letter full of heartfelt love and appreciation in their wallet or purse. This sort of innocent and loving surprise can be exactly what they need to feel appreciated, respected, and cherished. You don’t have to betray your own personality if you aren’t the gushing type, you just have to put forward an effort and your significant other will really appreciate it. Take this a step forward and get into the habit of leaving short little love notes for one another on a weekly basis. Hide them around the house or apartment and watch your lover light up with genuine happiness.
Make time to talk with one another.
A criminal attorney will focus on creating conversation in order to figure out why their defendant is innocent and two couples in a relationship should use communication to make sure that they never need a criminal or divorce attorney. That’s a weird analogy but it makes sense: you need to make time out of each day to actively talk, listen, and communicate with your loved one. We don’t mean over text or Facebook, we mean sitting down and looking into one another’s eyes while you listen to what they have to say. These sit downs allow you to take stock of your relationship on a regular basis while also preventing any issues from growing in the shadow of your combined ignorance.
Re-live your first date!
Whether your marriage ended with an attorney divorce meeting or in a renewal of vows one thing is for sure: you will spend plenty of time reflecting on the beginning of your relationship. If you want to invite some more spark into your relationship then go all the way back in time to your first date with your significant other. Once you have your first date refreshed in your mind you should try to re-create it as best as possible as a surprise. Watching your boyfriend or girlfriend light up with understanding as you relive those momentous memories, which led to your burgeoning love life, is worth all of the work that can go into the process. Don’t be afraid to come off as cheesy and definitely allow yourself to be in the moment. This isn’t a Hollywood romantic movie but it is as good as any moment that could be scripted up.
Get out of your comfort zone.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with coming home from work and cuddling on the couch in front of Netflix with your significant other. However, over time this can tend to grow tired and routine in a way that leaves you both feeling bored. Never be afraid to throw some spontaneity into the relationship by doing something dramatically different in order to spice up your romance. Does your girlfriend love art? Get off the couch one weekend and bring her to the art museum. Does your boyfriend love video games? Head out to the arcade together and take in a new experience alongside one another. While we all love those cuddly moments in front of the TV the truth is that they don’t make the best memories when you are reflecting on your relationship. Stay active, stay inspired, and be willing to get out of your comfort zone for the sake of fighting off monotony.
Schedule a stress free getaway.
We tend to think in terms of ‘eventually’ in our minds. This causes us to always subconsciously push off doing things that really need to be done. One of those things that always seems to be saved for ‘tomorrow’ is a vacation or a getaway trip. When you want to bring a little bit of spark back to your love life you should consider booking a trip out of town in order to get into a different head space with your romantic partner. Traveling is great for a relationship and it is one of the best ways to get you both on the same page. When you are away from your regular, daily activities you tend to spend more time focusing on one another. Being more focused and attentive on a trip designed to be fun will let you recreate those feelings that were so strong when your relationship was just beginning. You don’t have to take a flight somewhere exotic and far away. Just schedule a weekend getaway somewhere that will offer you both a fun and affordable diversion.
Have a professional photoshoot done together.
While we may be living in the digital age but there is absolutely nothing more capable of conjuring up fond memories than a photo album full of pictures from your past. What better way to get back into the stream of your romance than by creating new loving pictures with one another? You can find professional photographers all over every town and most of them are very affordable thanks to the prevalence of digital photography. You can get photoshoots done to tell any story you want or you can keep it simple by dressing up nice and getting some romantic shots in the outdoors. Whatever you do try to make the shooting experience loose, fun, and romantic. You’ll be able to capture these emotions in the picture and then you’ll have them forever.
Look at your loved one with fresh eyes.
There’s nothing like years of memories to change the way that you look at someone. There is no doubt that you and your partner carry baggage and that baggage can overtake how you perceive your significant other. A good idea is to try and imagine what you would think of your partner if you had seen them in the cafe or at class. What would your thoughts be? How would you consider approaching them? Look at your loved one with fresh eyes and allow that revitalization to change how you perceive them. Mentally shake off the dust and look at your partner like they deserve to be seen.
Engage in the positive.
Depending on your personality you might be the person that always tends to lean toward cynicism or negative thoughts. Maybe you let stress eat you up and as a result you bring it home to your girlfriend or boyfriend. Try to dump that pessimism and engage only in the positive when you are talking with your partner. It sounds a little quirky but honestly believing is becoming. If you believe in the positive then you’ll eventually live in positive ways, thus boosting your romantic life.
Extend appreciation toward your spouse.
It’s easy to forget how much work is done around the house by your loved one. Over time we tend to sink into the roles that we have helped to develop and then we stop giving thanks for the hard work that we each do. Make sure that you daily make clear how much you appreciate what your partner does for you. Thank them sincerely whenever they wash the dishes or take the dogs for a walk. Create an aura of graciousness in your relationship and watch how your smiles bloom.